Before I begin, please note that I do NOT advocate the combination of extreme sports and marijuana. Indeed, it is generally a bad idea to take on any “extreme” activity while intoxicated, whether on marijuana, alcohol, or another drug.
However, I also recognize that humans have the power of free will and sometimes (or often) use it to perform some of the dumbest things imaginable. Therefore, neither I nor this site is responsible if you, a friend or loved one, use cannabis, participate in an extreme sport, and receive the not-so-coveted Darwin Award.
With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s now look into five extreme sports and marijuana strains that may complement them. Again, there is no scientific evidence that these strains have a specific effect conducive to an improved extreme sports experience. Nonetheless, they may produce sensations that prove useful during your insistence on ignoring the laws of common sense.
Parkour is classified as a sport or activity that involves quickly moving through an area and negotiating a series of obstacles by jumping, running, and climbing. It is a highly athletic discipline that requires excellent conditioning, physical strength, balance, coordination, and agility. If you don’t have all of the above, the embarrassment of smashing your face into a pole is almost guaranteed.
Amnesia Haze, a cross of Jamaican, Hawaiian, Thai, and Cambodian sativas, Haze, a South Asian indica, and Afghani, is a potential accompaniment for parkour. It is a sativa-dominant hybrid with a THC content of over 20%.
Why This Strain?
Users of Amnesia Haze often claim they feel extremely happy and filled with energy, a must for parkour practitioners (also known as traceurs). However, it is also worth noting that attaining success in parkour requires the ability to creatively problem-solve while on the move. After a few puffs of Amnesia Haze, you might determine new ways of overcoming obstacles, thus improving your performance.
Excessive consumption of Amnesia Haze might give you a fit of giggles while ensuring you become extremely relaxed. Rather than channeling your inner Spiderman, you become Splatman, the Wall-Faced Simpleton. Having no teeth might prove an impediment, but at least you have a superhero idea to pitch to Marvel Comics.
For the record, a study on parkour in 2016 revealed that each traceur averaged 1.9 injuries per sport career/year. That figure is very close to the number of legs you’ll likely break when trying parkour while heavily intoxicated.
While you require far less physical dexterity for ziplining than parkour, it is still a high-octane activity. It involves riding a steel cable on a protective belt between two points. Modern ziplines can attain speeds of over 60mph, so it is one hell of a buzz.
The addition of the Skywalker strain could, theoretically, increase your level of excitement. Skywalker is a cross of Mazar I Sharif and Blueberry. It is a balanced hybrid with a THC content of up to 23%.
Why This Strain?
Effects of Skywalker include euphoria and relaxation. Users say that they feel elated soon after using this strain. Now, picture this sensation while ziplining! Imagine hanging on for dear life and enjoying the adrenaline rush while in a state of euphoria. You may also get a greater appreciation for the aesthetic beauty of your surroundings.
Those unused to the effects of Skywalker may find themselves feeling dizzy. That’s hardly the ideal scenario when 50 feet above solid ground! Suddenly, you feel queasy and become Violet, the Violent Vomiter. There’s also the added risk of paranoia as you question whether the birds flying past are staging a coup.
For added fun, I should inform you that falls and collisions leading to broken bones and sprains also happen while ziplining. A 2015 study published in The American Journal of Emergency Medicine wrote that 16,850 zip line-related injuries were treated in the United States between 1997 and 2012.
At least, if you get high enough on Skywalker, you might decrease the pain you feel. However, you may also get a dry mouth that makes it feel like someone put Tatooine in your mouth. Fun.
The sport of bungee jumping involves trusting someone to tie a rubber cord between your waist and the jump site. Then, you jump off a great height. After a period of freefalling, the cord reaches its maximum stretch, causing you to bounce back into the air. The process is terrifying and exhilarating, but why not make things even better/worse with weed?
Green Crack is a cross of Sweet Leaf indica and Skunk #1 and was once known as Green Kush before Snoop Dogg renamed it. This sativa-dominant hybrid’s THC content ranges from 13% to 21%.
Why This Strain?
Green Crack is known for its cerebral high, and it could also help provide you with a burst of energy. Furthermore, its propensity to sharpen one’s senses can help make you acutely aware of your predicament, though I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
Certain users may feel an enhanced sense of paranoia or nervousness, which is what you need when hurtling headfirst towards the ground from several hundred feet. For reference, the Royal Gorge Bridge has a bungee jumping platform over 1,000 feet off the ground.
On average, one in every 500,000 bungee jumps results in death. Those are pretty good odds, in fairness. However, if Green Crack has a bad effect on you, there’s a chance you’ll feel as if you’re about to die. As the water/ground approaches, you’ll realize that watching Ronald Reagan wearing a baseball hat sideways rapping about the perils of drug use is a better option.
However, as long as the person tying your bungee cord isn’t also high, you’re probably good.
As the name suggests, skiing involves the use of skis to travel on the snow. Recreational skiers tend to travel between 20 and 40 mph, whereas world-class operators can hit top speeds of well over 100mph and an average of 70mph.
If the rush of gliding through the snow at breakneck speed isn’t enough for you, there’s always the option of adding marijuana to the mix. Lucid Dream is a cross of Blue Dream and Amnesia Haze. It’s a sativa-dominant hybrid with a monster THC content of up to 28%.
Why This Strain?
The effects of Lucid Dream hit fast and usually consist of euphoria, a burst of energy, and a general feeling of well-being. Users also report feeling reinvigorated with sharpened senses. You can use this new “gift” to properly navigate bends, effortlessly caressing the ice as gracefully as a swan swimming in a lake.
The above description is fantasy. The reality is that you’ll hurtle down the slopes like Uncle Bill down the stairs last Thanksgiving after his ninth Samuel Adams. Lucid Dream can cause paranoia or anxiety, meaning you may feel as if some unknown creature is hunting you on the ice. Exit, pursued by a bear and hit by a tree.
For the record, common skiing injuries include medial collateral ligament tear, ACL rupture, and smashing your head off something.
Skateboarding is a popular pastime amongst teenagers that involves balancing on a board mounted on wheels. Skilled practitioners skate up and down ramps, performing cool and often dangerous moves. Street style skateboarding features tricks using obstacles like rails and stairs.
With the help of Mary Jane, you too can become Tony Hawk, completing stunts others can only dream of emulating. Head Cheese is one option. This indica-dominant strain is a cross of UK Cheese and 707 Headband. With a THC content of up to 28%, it is not one for novices.
Why This Strain?
Users of Head Cheese love the mentally stimulating effects, particularly the uplifting sensation. As far as skateboarders are concerned, Head Cheese could also help change your perception of time, making it feel like things are moving more slowly. Imagine having an extra split second to produce yet another world-class maneuver?
Head Cheese can make you feel more anxious and, given its potency, could seriously screw up your coordination. Ultimately, this causes you to look less like Tony Hawk and more like Tony Soprano on your board. It is also interesting to see if Head Cheese’s euphoric effects are sufficient to keep you calm while one of your bones sticks out of your arm. Gnarly.
Incidentally, over 125,000 skateboarder injuries are attended to in hospitals across the United States each year.
This article was a tongue-in-cheek look at the possibility of using specific marijuana strains with extreme sports. I’d like to believe that no one will risk performing dangerous stunts while high, but let’s face it, idiocy is on the rise. Therefore, I’m reiterating that neither I nor the website will take ANY responsibility for injuries sustained while attempting any extreme sport while high or otherwise intoxicated.
Many people think scars are cool but don’t stop to wonder how the scars were gained! On the plus side, think of all the money you’ll save on toothpaste (and college) the next time your head collides with something hard at high speed.
- Certain marijuana strains could potentially complement specific extreme sports
- Doing so is risky and probably quite dumb
- We take no responsibility if you injure/kill yourself doing something we just said was incredibly stupid